This was going to be called twice in one day…

24 Jan

But I never finished it because my dear friend living in the pits of the north called me for a gabfest.

Either way, the intention was there! That’s not a bad start, really. Maybe it’s because I’m doing this for the mere purpose of keeping myself sane? Could this mean I actually (gasp) like writing again?

Isn’t it funny how those of us who are lucky enough to make a living out of doing what we love can sometimes end up hating it? I always wanted to be a writer growing up – especially for a magazine. I just thought it was such a glamorous job and that I’d be like Kate Hudson in How To Lose a Guy in Ten Days, with zero baby fat, sleek hair, a bitchy boss who worships my word and of course, Matthew McConaughey – who I think we can all agree is weirdly sexy, even with his “the South will rise again” accent.

Too bad life isn’t a mid-2000s rom com set in the East Village.

Anyway, yesterday wasn’t too bad. I went to Yoga and had a mediocre class – well, it started out that way. I can feel my body changing slowly on day 9. I’m bloated because I’m a woman, but my stretches are deepening and I feel like I’m able to understand my limbs a little better these days. It’s safe to say that I’m becoming reacquainted with my muscles.

Actually, yesterday’s class was pretty good! Vinyasa Flow is definitely something I’ve been getting used to, and I know it’ll feel even better next Monday.

After class, I broke a cardinal rule and treated myself to a bottle of rose hip oil from the studio’s store. I know, I know – I should only be buying myself a yoga store treat at the end of each week and I’m only at the beginning, but my face has been pining for some extra love and that bottle was their last one! It wasn’t a huge investment though, so I figured this once won’t hurt. I may or may not have my eye on a lavender stuffed eye pillow made specifically for shavasana and afternoon naps, though. Let’s just see if I get to day 14 first – only 4 days to go!

In other news, I am officially 3 days into Whole30 and I am still compliant! I’ve broken the limited snacking rule (currently munching on carrots as we speak) and I’ve obviously been cheating with nuts since last night’s indulgent snack of a banana, two tangerines, and about a half cup of almonds. And some pumpkin seeds.

What? I’m a hungry person!

The important thing is, I’m still here. I did have a dream that I forgot I was on Whole30 and had a drink with this cute guy I’ve been low-key crushing on for a couple of months. All sorts of naughty metaphors in that one. Boy, do I need work!

Today’s Breakfast: Dedicated to lazy champions, I didn’t even have a real breakfast. I’ve just been grazing throughout the day. Two hard boiled yolkless eggs (the yolk just creeps me out.) a banana, a tang(erine, not the nuclear orange childhood drink), probably a handful of almonds, and three cigarettes.

Yes, I’m still smoking and no one is allowed to yell at me for doing it. This is MY blog.

Lunch Will Be: Some leftover taco salad revamped with fresh(ish) avocado and steak strips. Yesterday, I fooled myself into thinking I was too delicate to eat the big salad I had curated for myself, so I portioned it out into two small containers and kept them in the office fridge. Bless her heart, my housekeeper gave me a mini garden of lettuce to top it off with today.

Dinner: A homemade repeat of yesterday – Salmon! To veg or not to veg? I was going to accompany it with broccoli that I really should use. Questionable broccoli has been frozen for about a week and a half (I know, I know. But I just didn’t want to waste it!) Maybe I’ll sneak in a tiny baked potato on the side. I swear, Whole30 allowing potatoes is probably the best thing about this damn diet – I mean, “Lifestyle changing clean way of eating” (or whatever the eff you wanna call it.)

PS: In case you care about yesterday’s dinner? It was delicious but difficult. I think it’s safe to say I can’t go back to said amazing restaurant (Let’s just call it AVA for anonymity’s sake) till I’m done with this. And then, it will be chickpea fries, kale tabbouleh, Gruyere Burger and Date Knafa Tart galore. One thing I’ve learned? It’s time to encrust all salmon with herbs. Another thing? VEGAN PESTO ZOODLES. Something I will definitely be recreating for tomorrow’s menu: Vegan Vednesday.

Yoga: Day 10. Bring it on, baby. I’m doing a back-bending flow today, which should open up my heart and possibly lead me to tears. I cried last Saturday during shavasana, having just been dumped only the night before. It was a quiet cry, but it felt nice. There’s something about Yoga that just makes you feel so appreciative and unafraid of your emotions and your body’s needs. You can literally moan and grunt all you want, fart, cry, and sleep. It’s like being a baby.

I haven’t farted in Yoga yet, (and will try my hardest not to) but I’ll bet lots of people have. I’m sure there are some tent pitchers out there as well. Hell if I had a tent, I’d pitch it feeling that relaxed.

Men: Whatever. I haven’t texted him yet. Am I texting someone else? No, YOU ARE.

All with a grain of pink Himalayan salt, friends.

Namaste.

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It’s been a while…

23 Jan

…and a lot has happened since my last post. Many things have changed. Since 2012, I’ve graduated from University, worked as a copywriter for a crappy e-commerce company for two years, destroyed my figure, had too many tumblers of whiskey and glasses of Pinot Grigio, left Montreal, stopped pretending I could speak French and moved back home to write for a local magazine and get my shit together.

Has my shit been collected thus far? I’m not in a terrible spot, but like every humbled human being would say, “I could be doing better”.

I’m an indulgent person. I indulge with food, with alcohol, with shopping, with laziness, exercise, and premature love. So after my continuing education applications had been submitted, my savings account being stagnant and my latest romantic conquest managing to crawl out of my web of affection, I decided to focus on wellness for one whole month in the vain hope that there will be some sort of light at the end of the tunnel.

Will I get my figure back? I’m working on it. Will my savings account prosper? I’m working on that too. Will I be able to reach full self contentedness without seeking validation from a man? That might take more than a month, but focusing on this in the meantime could help.

It goes without saying that the above is a little too personal, which is why I only re-shared this link with dear friends whom I love. Whatever happens, happens – but I highly doubt this will end up going viral: my life really isn’t that interesting. (Refer to my embarrassing past posts of yore if you don’t believe me.)

But let’s just write and see where this goes!

The stats of the month:

Yoga Challenge: I started this on January 15th, after being invited by the yoga instructor at my gym to join her studio and partake in a 30 day challenge where I’ll have to practice yoga once a day for the next month – or do 30 classes in one month. I’m allowed to do double classes and skip a day up to four times, but that hasn’t happened yet. I’m on day 9 and I’m more than happy with the flow that’s been taking place.

Whole30: Ah, yes. The infamous Whole30 Challenge. I’m not allowed to turn to any of my vices for comfort in the next month. No sugar, dairy, alcohol, grains, wheat, legumes or fun for 30 days… and I can’t even weigh myself! I expect to lose some weight after this month (assuming I don’t end up getting drunk and binging on Shake Shack like I did with my pre-Christmas diet last month) but weight-loss isn’t the goal. Resetting my body and appreciating a non-complicated, wholesome way of eating is. But obviously, as the blog’s revamped title implies, I’ll be cheating with Whole30 compliant nuts, of the almond, cashew and wall variety. I’m on day 2, and having just inhaled a kosher taco salad, am feeling satiated. Cross your fingers that all hell doesn’t break loose after tonight’s dinner plans at one of my favorite healthy-but-definitely-not-Paleo eateries.

Men: You can’t help but love them, even though they’re really fucking stupid. I won’t divulge too much into this, but point blank: my name is Smee and I seek validation from men. No more! This month is about me, and I’m not allowed to obsess about or wonder when I’ll get married anymore. It’s unproductive. Bonus points and a big gift for myself if I go the whole month without even so much as checking out a cute butt at a gathering or party. (Where I better be sipping an unlaced, virgin drink of  Pelligrino or Perrier seasoned with citrus and maybe an olive.) If I need to obsess, I’ll write. If it’s PG, I’ll write here. Feel free to skip these posts. They can get pretty whiny. I’m technically on day of this, as I haven’t texted him all day since our recent amicable “breakup”. Gold star for me, Rome wasn’t built in a day.

So with all that in mind, I’ll continue embarking on my journey, but this time with some documentation. It’ll be fun! (I hope) and there might be some pics or some recipes, but hopefully NO weak moments or cheat days.

Later gators.

Smee

To all the Beirutiful People

17 Aug

Event Alert! From today, August 17th-August 19th, I am forcing every reader who is currently vacationing and/or living in Beirut, Lebanon to attend The Creative Space. This is an exhibition that displays the hard work of five aspiring designers of different backgrounds. These fine ladies have spent two months under the instruction and encouragement of my dear friend, the beautiful and talented Sarah Hermez a, graduate from Parsons the New School for Design, and her colleague Ms. Caroline Simonelli, a professor at Parsons and the Fashion Institute of Technology in New York. Over the past two months, the girls have collaborated and created a collection of mainly dresses, naming the line One. Items from the line will be available through a silent auction at the event.

The event will be held at the Saifi Urban Gardens at rue Pasteur, Beirut from 9pm-12am. Get yer butts over there and support, support, support the mission to express creative freedom through fashion, and their journey “not to make clothes, but to make designers.”

Smee says, remember: fashion is love, people. Fashion is love.

For more information about the project and to learn more about the girls’ journey, visit their Facebook Page

And so she returns from her unannounced hiatus..

22 Jul

with sadly, not much news, my readers. Electronics haven’t exactly been my friends this summer. In the past few months I have faced the loss of my camera, my laptop, my blackberry, my back-up phone, and my ipod is even facing a “solar eclipse syndrome.” Hopefully you all understand that my unannounced hiatus is really due to my inspiration wilting along with each electronic device that has failed me.
But, I’m here now! So lets get down to business, shall we? I had a thought today, readers, while stumbling across an extreme fashion faux pas as I was (embarrassingly, yet admittedly) watching a re-run of the ever classic teen dramedy of the nought decade, The OC. Julie Cooper (remember her? Newport’s Cruella DeVille) bends down revealing a RED G-STRING that is not merely peeking out of her embarrassingly low-cut jeans, but is absolutely EXPLODING out of them.
This got me thinking- season 3 of The OC was aired in 2006- VERY bad year for fashion, if I remember correctly. Of course, back then I was a chubby, frizzy haired teen who coveted such obscure trends (cringe, I know.) That being said, I’ve carefully crafted a list of fashion trends that I strongly disapprove of and ones that I consider timeless. A disclaimer, dear readers: if any of you are guilty of such fashion crimes, I will forgive you for committing them- just forgive me for being extremely forward.
Smee Hates:

-Obviously, Low cut jeans, “hip-huggers” whatever the hell you want to call them, they’re ugly. They show your underwear, they give you cameltoe.. most people can’t even pull them off (I don’t care how thin you are) and they’re usually guilty of being flared and/or having no bum pockets. Jeans are not meant to BE low cut. LOOK AT THIS!

This is just ridiculous! And see, I was right. Flared with no bum pockets.
Pageboy Hats: You just can’t take someone seriously when they wear one. Especially when its tilted to the side. I know ONE person who can pull off a Pageboy- amongst other fashion faux pas as well (she just manages to make them work- Love ya, Cup 😉 ) but, I’m assuming most other people aren’t as fab as she is so.. no. Do us all a favour and ditch the Pageboy.

This is just wrong on so many different levels.

*Update: We don’t mind Pageboy hats on men, though. I don’t know why, they just don’t look as bad in them. They actually even look a little cute sometimes.. my dad wears them a la Bill Cosby 🙂 But to all you women out there, this does not excuse your Page Boy hats.
Sweatpants that have things written on the ass: They’ve always made me really angry, especially when they’re velour. I don’t care if you’re travelling. They’re ugly. I’ve taken more 13 hour flights than I can count and I can proudly say that not ONCE have I EVER worn a velour tracksuit with ANY words printed on my ass.

Unforgivable. Even more unforgivable than..

Uggs: The “ugg-liest”, most pointless shoe ever created. Even more so than Crocs! Crocs are ugly, but they’re reserved for Mums and their Orthopedic issues. And maybe little kids. But Uggs.. I’m sorry. As long as you’re not running down to the Dep or you live right next to the metro and you’re going to the gym or something, you’re not allowed to wear them. First of all, they’re pointless. Worst snow shoe ever! They don’t even work.. they ALWAYS get ruined, and people who actually think they’re trendy are wearing them in places that are too warm (I’m talking to you, Kuwait.)

Why would anybody ever proudly sport these? I rest my case.

-Armani Sunglasses: they’re disgusting, they look Euro Trash, and they’ve always reminded me of Jennifer Lopez meets The Terminator.

Note to self and the rest of Mankind: Never take fashion advice from Kim Kardashian. If the Sunglasses aren’t proof enough, then the gigantic K on her chest should be.

I’ll stop with the negativity before I become too offensive. Dear readers, I simply care about all of you AND my city. That is why I’m doing this! I’ve even constructed a list of fashionable alternatives to the faux pas that we constantly find ourselves guilty of.

For example, Smee Loves:

High Waisted Skinny Jeans

Taken from www. shopstyle.com

MUCH better. Especially when its cut at the ankle in a delicate, 1960s reminiscent fashion. This elongates the lower part of your body, ladies. Urban Outfitters does a good High Waisted Skinny.
Another form of high waisted jeans is the 90’s short that we all know and love from our childhood

Absolutely beautiful. Side note: Stumbled upon this website as I was searching for the perfect example of 90’s shorts. Creepily enough, I have the exact same style as this woman, but I approve of and recommend

Kennedy Holmes

Now, lets move on- shall we?
I also approve of
-Bicycle Shorts: who can hate them? They’re funner, more breathable alternative to working out in nasty velour tracksuits that say “Juicy” on your ass.

Sure, they’re not the most FLATTERING thing ever, but come on.. they have so much personality and so many memories! I have the exact same pair of bicycle shorts as shown above and I’m probably the funnest person at the gym when I wear them. Plus, they make your butt look great.

-Mukluks: A MUCH cuter (and more cultured) alternative to Uggs.

Granted, Mukluks aren’t exactly amazing for the snow either, but they ARE better than Uggs. They’re warmer, cuter, have way more personality, if worn correctly they can add an “Esque-imo” like charm to any cosy winter outfit, and they’re so Canadian it makes me smile 🙂
Besides, I have those black ones and I love them.

-Rayban Wayfarers: Preferred ones are vintage Clubmasters, but those are harder to find than one may think


The perfect sunglasses. 🙂

I guess that’s it for now, stay tuned for future updates of Fashion Do’s and Don’ts.. Next time: Really long necklaces, Stripes, and platform shoes, versus leggings when they don’t need to happen, boxed shaped mini skirts, and tops with random buttons. Can you guess which side I’m for?

Being Sans Camera Makes Smee Very Sad.

11 May

Especially when its so gorgeous outside! How else can I document the beautiful outfits I’ve been dying to show you, my readers!
Examples:
-The floral Zumba pants I picked up in Toronto, coupled with a black plain AmAp crop-top to show off my badass side-rib tattoo and my basic wayfarer sunglasses. I wore this to the dentist on Monday.

– The seventies-esque belted with a ribbon dress I wore to my friend’s wedding on saturday, coupled with the.. (deep breaths, readers..) VINTAGE MARY JANE WEDGE CLOGS! Yes!! I found them! At Beacon’s, actually so TRUST ME ON THIS PLACE. It literally makes all your fashion dreams come true!

(I can hear you, dear sister- rolling your eyes right about now.)

-The dress-but-was-actually-a-skirt that I made for Tams on sunday, coupled with my hercules sandals from H et M

(Picture all of these outfits paired with the quintessential accessory I found at the Brooklyn Flea: a really long Key necklace. Classic.)

-The tribal shorts and plain white SexualiTank from AmAp paired with a black velvet gilet and  my classic doc martens and 90s denim jacket. We’re thinking of ditching the denim jacket, outfit (concept) repeating the top and shorts in the summertime and replacing the black velvet gilet with a denim one. Must haves for this outfit: fabulous footwear (maybe even the vintage wedges) fabulous hair (we’ve been thinking a side-shave lately) fabulous sunglasses (Vintage jackie-o’s, John Lennons, or wayfarers will do.) and fabulous confidence (you know I rock it, bitchay.)

I’m outfit stumped for today though. And I need to find a way for a camera. My phone is useless (but that will change next week) and the Keeks’ camera isn’t compatible with my mac.. and her computer is announced as DEAD (officially.)

Either I hire a photographer to follow me around and document my life and outfits, or we all sit tight and wait for either a new computer  or a proper phone that takes pictures.

Until then, we’ll have to play first grade and use our imaginations. I know you’re all doing it anyway when you picture yourselves trying to pull off the fab shit I wear.

Only in fake Paris, mes bebes. Only in fake Paris.

Bisous!

Smee in the City

That Brooklyn Bullshit, We on It.

11 May

Hello there, mes petits chats. Yes, I haven’t been posting too frequently, but as most of you may know- I was off doing better things, like being in New York. Now loves, I’m going to profusely apologize (again) for not having a camera. I was pretty pissed about the Camera situation in New York and I REALLY wanted to document the treasures and discoveries dotted around Brooklyn. Unfortunately, we can’t have that de to the lack of camera- but don’t worry. I’ve decided to save up and buy myself a professional. I think I look really cool with it- those cameras go with most of my outfits.
To all you real photographers out there: Yes, I just said that. No, I wasn’t joking.

So, of course Brooklyn is really big and during the two days and nights I was there, we didn’t explore enough past Bed-Stuy (unless you want to count our sad Lower East Side experience) but it has to be said: Brooklyn will always trump Manhattan, and notable treasures include:
-Brooklyn Flea: Williamsburg http://www.brooklynflea.com/markets/#williamsburg-map

-Beacon’s Closet: Greenpoint/Williamsburg: http://www.beaconscloset.com/pages/locations

And this awesome little barbecue joint thats on north 11th and Berry (basically right across the street from Beacon’s) that makes a mean vegetarian sloppy joe with a side of mac n cheese. Trust me- during this escapade, I’ve learned that when in America, do as the americans do and ingest copious amounts of carbs and grease, make it vegetarian, and hope for the best. ‘Cause aint nobody wanna go to places like Wild Ginger (Bedford ave. AMAZING vegan thai restaurant- a fond memory of my sister living in New York.)

That being said, I’ll leave you with promises of more snapshots and details the next time I head over to the Big Apple (which will probably be sooner rather than later)

Ta for now!

The Only Thing Worth Documenting in DC…

29 Apr

.. or shall I call it: Snoozetown USA. This city is so unstylish it hurts. The metro breaks down while you’re ON it (and it closes way too early.) and Chinatown doesn’t even LOOK Chinese! It consists of a bunch of American chains with their logos translated in Chinese.

Is that really all the capitol of the “free world” has to contribute to their immigrants? Really? Come on, America. Stop being so lazy!

However, I did fall in love with SOMETHING in this city. Those of you who know me (and can’t help but love me) will remember that I happen to be very fond of vegan/vegetarian cuisine. And you may also remember my one-month vegan experiment that occurred in January ( y’all know you miss those days of my nagging and secretly smelling cheese.) So you can imagine how excited I was to find that Washington DC has its very own (and pretty bitchin’) vegan bakery called Sticky Fingers.

http://www.stickyfingersbakery.com/

Attractive name, innit?

Sticky Fingers was my second home in DC. My second day here, my ass spent five hours glued to the comfortable plush-like hot pink booth chair in the back working on my essay. In fact, I’m sitting outside there right now, stealing their internet. So you can see why I came back here today to have one of their orgasmic (and completely vegan) Cupcakes.

And that, madames et monsieurs, was the highlight of the DC portion of my Urban Extravaganza.

That and the fact that H et M isn’t taxed here. (Boycotting my ass. Why must I be such a hypocrite when it comes to fashion!?)

Check it out if you’re ever in DC. Its on 14th and Park, surrounded by a bunch of corporate American chains.

Note: this is where to find the Hipsters of DC.

And now, I’m off to New York.

I’ll keep you posted, mes amis!

Smee in the City