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And so she returns from her unannounced hiatus..

22 Jul

with sadly, not much news, my readers. Electronics haven’t exactly been my friends this summer. In the past few months I have faced the loss of my camera, my laptop, my blackberry, my back-up phone, and my ipod is even facing a “solar eclipse syndrome.” Hopefully you all understand that my unannounced hiatus is really due to my inspiration wilting along with each electronic device that has failed me.
But, I’m here now! So lets get down to business, shall we? I had a thought today, readers, while stumbling across an extreme fashion faux pas as I was (embarrassingly, yet admittedly) watching a re-run of the ever classic teen dramedy of the nought decade, The OC. Julie Cooper (remember her? Newport’s Cruella DeVille) bends down revealing a RED G-STRING that is not merely peeking out of her embarrassingly low-cut jeans, but is absolutely EXPLODING out of them.
This got me thinking- season 3 of The OC was aired in 2006- VERY bad year for fashion, if I remember correctly. Of course, back then I was a chubby, frizzy haired teen who coveted such obscure trends (cringe, I know.) That being said, I’ve carefully crafted a list of fashion trends that I strongly disapprove of and ones that I consider timeless. A disclaimer, dear readers: if any of you are guilty of such fashion crimes, I will forgive you for committing them- just forgive me for being extremely forward.
Smee Hates:

-Obviously, Low cut jeans, “hip-huggers” whatever the hell you want to call them, they’re ugly. They show your underwear, they give you cameltoe.. most people can’t even pull them off (I don’t care how thin you are) and they’re usually guilty of being flared and/or having no bum pockets. Jeans are not meant to BE low cut. LOOK AT THIS!

This is just ridiculous! And see, I was right. Flared with no bum pockets.
Pageboy Hats: You just can’t take someone seriously when they wear one. Especially when its tilted to the side. I know ONE person who can pull off a Pageboy- amongst other fashion faux pas as well (she just manages to make them work- Love ya, Cup 😉 ) but, I’m assuming most other people aren’t as fab as she is so.. no. Do us all a favour and ditch the Pageboy.

This is just wrong on so many different levels.

*Update: We don’t mind Pageboy hats on men, though. I don’t know why, they just don’t look as bad in them. They actually even look a little cute sometimes.. my dad wears them a la Bill Cosby 🙂 But to all you women out there, this does not excuse your Page Boy hats.
Sweatpants that have things written on the ass: They’ve always made me really angry, especially when they’re velour. I don’t care if you’re travelling. They’re ugly. I’ve taken more 13 hour flights than I can count and I can proudly say that not ONCE have I EVER worn a velour tracksuit with ANY words printed on my ass.

Unforgivable. Even more unforgivable than..

Uggs: The “ugg-liest”, most pointless shoe ever created. Even more so than Crocs! Crocs are ugly, but they’re reserved for Mums and their Orthopedic issues. And maybe little kids. But Uggs.. I’m sorry. As long as you’re not running down to the Dep or you live right next to the metro and you’re going to the gym or something, you’re not allowed to wear them. First of all, they’re pointless. Worst snow shoe ever! They don’t even work.. they ALWAYS get ruined, and people who actually think they’re trendy are wearing them in places that are too warm (I’m talking to you, Kuwait.)

Why would anybody ever proudly sport these? I rest my case.

-Armani Sunglasses: they’re disgusting, they look Euro Trash, and they’ve always reminded me of Jennifer Lopez meets The Terminator.

Note to self and the rest of Mankind: Never take fashion advice from Kim Kardashian. If the Sunglasses aren’t proof enough, then the gigantic K on her chest should be.

I’ll stop with the negativity before I become too offensive. Dear readers, I simply care about all of you AND my city. That is why I’m doing this! I’ve even constructed a list of fashionable alternatives to the faux pas that we constantly find ourselves guilty of.

For example, Smee Loves:

High Waisted Skinny Jeans

Taken from www. shopstyle.com

MUCH better. Especially when its cut at the ankle in a delicate, 1960s reminiscent fashion. This elongates the lower part of your body, ladies. Urban Outfitters does a good High Waisted Skinny.
Another form of high waisted jeans is the 90’s short that we all know and love from our childhood

Absolutely beautiful. Side note: Stumbled upon this website as I was searching for the perfect example of 90’s shorts. Creepily enough, I have the exact same style as this woman, but I approve of and recommend

Kennedy Holmes

Now, lets move on- shall we?
I also approve of
-Bicycle Shorts: who can hate them? They’re funner, more breathable alternative to working out in nasty velour tracksuits that say “Juicy” on your ass.

Sure, they’re not the most FLATTERING thing ever, but come on.. they have so much personality and so many memories! I have the exact same pair of bicycle shorts as shown above and I’m probably the funnest person at the gym when I wear them. Plus, they make your butt look great.

-Mukluks: A MUCH cuter (and more cultured) alternative to Uggs.

Granted, Mukluks aren’t exactly amazing for the snow either, but they ARE better than Uggs. They’re warmer, cuter, have way more personality, if worn correctly they can add an “Esque-imo” like charm to any cosy winter outfit, and they’re so Canadian it makes me smile 🙂
Besides, I have those black ones and I love them.

-Rayban Wayfarers: Preferred ones are vintage Clubmasters, but those are harder to find than one may think


The perfect sunglasses. 🙂

I guess that’s it for now, stay tuned for future updates of Fashion Do’s and Don’ts.. Next time: Really long necklaces, Stripes, and platform shoes, versus leggings when they don’t need to happen, boxed shaped mini skirts, and tops with random buttons. Can you guess which side I’m for?

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Being Sans Camera Makes Smee Very Sad.

11 May

Especially when its so gorgeous outside! How else can I document the beautiful outfits I’ve been dying to show you, my readers!
Examples:
-The floral Zumba pants I picked up in Toronto, coupled with a black plain AmAp crop-top to show off my badass side-rib tattoo and my basic wayfarer sunglasses. I wore this to the dentist on Monday.

– The seventies-esque belted with a ribbon dress I wore to my friend’s wedding on saturday, coupled with the.. (deep breaths, readers..) VINTAGE MARY JANE WEDGE CLOGS! Yes!! I found them! At Beacon’s, actually so TRUST ME ON THIS PLACE. It literally makes all your fashion dreams come true!

(I can hear you, dear sister- rolling your eyes right about now.)

-The dress-but-was-actually-a-skirt that I made for Tams on sunday, coupled with my hercules sandals from H et M

(Picture all of these outfits paired with the quintessential accessory I found at the Brooklyn Flea: a really long Key necklace. Classic.)

-The tribal shorts and plain white SexualiTank from AmAp paired with a black velvet gilet and  my classic doc martens and 90s denim jacket. We’re thinking of ditching the denim jacket, outfit (concept) repeating the top and shorts in the summertime and replacing the black velvet gilet with a denim one. Must haves for this outfit: fabulous footwear (maybe even the vintage wedges) fabulous hair (we’ve been thinking a side-shave lately) fabulous sunglasses (Vintage jackie-o’s, John Lennons, or wayfarers will do.) and fabulous confidence (you know I rock it, bitchay.)

I’m outfit stumped for today though. And I need to find a way for a camera. My phone is useless (but that will change next week) and the Keeks’ camera isn’t compatible with my mac.. and her computer is announced as DEAD (officially.)

Either I hire a photographer to follow me around and document my life and outfits, or we all sit tight and wait for either a new computer  or a proper phone that takes pictures.

Until then, we’ll have to play first grade and use our imaginations. I know you’re all doing it anyway when you picture yourselves trying to pull off the fab shit I wear.

Only in fake Paris, mes bebes. Only in fake Paris.

Bisous!

Smee in the City

Teta Platforms with Jido Pants

14 Apr

For all inquiring minds:

Teta= Grandmajjar

Jido= Granfajjar.

I think the collaboration of senescence (or I’m sorry, Nostalgia) with a twist on the 90’s trend that’s coming back is absolutely GENIUS.
I am IN LOVE with these platform shoes that look like they were made  from every grandmother’s leftover couch upholstery.


Paired with high waisted Grandfather slacks and a crop top gives it a breezy spring feel, although I’ll admit I’m totally outfit-repeating the concept from fall 2010.

I used to apologize profusely for outfit repeating- now, yes. We all know its a deadly sin, but remember- concept repeating is okay! Especially if you switch it up a little.

No debating, we love the high waisted with bare ribs look.

Polka dots and Floral Prints

10 Apr

Upon waking up at noon (a recent Sunday ritual) My roommate (who will be known as Keeks) informed me that she’d just come back from running at Parc LaFontaine.

Lets just take a detour here: I’m passed out at noon, and you’ve just come back from running?

Keeks, this reminds me of you.

Now that that’s out of the way, we make a unanimous decision to bask in the sunless 15 degree weather and take a walk around our bohemian borough.

Now as you all may know, Keeks and I have a sense of style that we’re incredibly proud of. We enjoy taking risks, and even a trip to the grocery store can be as exciting as the cat-walk, so the occasion of this outing (a lazy sunday) was no exception. Lately, I’ve been contemplating the age-old riddle: To mix prints? Or not to mix prints?

On Friday, I’d happened to see a situation that struck me as interesting on the seventh floor of the EV building (the infamous BFA student filled study haven located next to the student run, vegetarian Cafe X) A girl was wearing a FABULOUS polka dot print top coupled with a divine floral-print skirt. Polka dots and Flowers? I know.. I was skeptical at first too. She pulled it off, but it’s like the side shaved head thing- I know it looks great, hell I’m even contemplating it (Oh, like any of you are surprised)

So I tried out the look.. We were personally on the fence about this one, but the delicate polka dot print of my blouse definitely softened the look, while the reminiscent shoulder pads added some oomph. To play up the oomph, I was about to finish off the unlikely outfit with one of my most treasured possessions: my Vintage Michael-Jackson esque shoulder padded black cropped leather jacket (I am aware of this description being a grammatical catastrophe, however must admit: I’m salivating just THINKING about that jacket.) But we opted for a jean jacket instead, given to us by our dear Torontonian friend, Sarah (Sare, Bear, Ratch.)

The look altogether made me nostalgic of my childhood days. I felt like I was going on a field trip or something. I felt like 13 years have passed and I’m still wearing the same outfit, only I’m taller, and my hair isn’t in pigtails. Oh and I have a bunch of pins and needles coming out of my face.

I think that the overall outfit without the jacket did good- especially added with doc martens and nude(ish) tights.

The tights were kind of ugly though- I wish they were more neutral. They were purchased at the American Apparel warehouse sale in Namur about a month ago, though. American Apparel tights for four bucks.. especially if there’s a seam in the back? I would even buy the atrocious neon orange tights for that price!

Now, for the Doc Martens. Tip: Ladies, when wearing Doc Martens, go for tights/bare legs, and high waisted flouncy skirts. Especially if it is a patterned skirt. The look may be too Dawson’s Creek for some of you, but hey- better Jen Lindley than Marissa Cooper.

And remember, we brought back the look 😉

What’s your verdict? Do we love this way-too 90’s look? Or are we just a dark shade of lipstick and a maxi skirt away from being a disaster?