Day 9 and I’m losing my mind

30 Jan

I’ve honestly argued to turn this into a Whole10 instead of a Whole30 because I’m on day 9 and have NO CLUE i’m going to last 21 more days.

Pardon my French, but fuck this shit.

Yes, yoga has been going well – I even did a double class on Saturday, putting me at 16 classes in 30 days on the roster (but I’m on day 16 of Yoga challenge, officially.)

But guys, I’m getting bored. I just want a slice of toast at this point. Or spaghetti – really, anything will do.

I just feel so frumpy and uninspired

And so I wrote a song:

(These are a few of) The Foods I can’t Eat

*in tune to Sound of Music’s “A Few of My Favourite Things”

Upbeat melody

Burgers and ice cream and pasta and cookies

cheese puffs and pizza and decadent brookies

sandwiches topped off with gruyere and meat

these are a few of the foods I can’t eat

Bridge

going to a restaurant makes me feel really baaaaad

’cause I look at the menu and see two things

I can actually eaaaat… that’s saaaaad

Reprise

Popcorn and pretzels and chips from a kettle

I could try those things but they wouldn’t settle

chicken’s an option but I don’t eat that

why did I have to be so god damn faaaaat

Bridge

when the fries fry, then the hunger strikes

and I wonder whyyyyy

then I look down at my bland salad and sigh and then I begiiiin

tooooo cryyyyyyyyyy

Reprise

Grilled salmon and steaks with no sauce whatsoever

potatoes are baked but with sour cream never

goodbye to bacon and acidic wine

but kale is allowed and I swear that I’m fine

Bridge

nuts are okay, but not everyday, a rule I always break

I feel like I’m strong till I open the fridge and come headfirst with

CHOOOOOOO-COLATE CAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I think that puts everything into perspective.

Fuck you, I’m hungry.

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