This was going to be called twice in one day…

24 Jan

But I never finished it because my dear friend living in the pits of the north called me for a gabfest.

Either way, the intention was there! That’s not a bad start, really. Maybe it’s because I’m doing this for the mere purpose of keeping myself sane? Could this mean I actually (gasp) like writing again?

Isn’t it funny how those of us who are lucky enough to make a living out of doing what we love can sometimes end up hating it? I always wanted to be a writer growing up – especially for a magazine. I just thought it was such a glamorous job and that I’d be like Kate Hudson in How To Lose a Guy in Ten Days, with zero baby fat, sleek hair, a bitchy boss who worships my word and of course, Matthew McConaughey – who I think we can all agree is weirdly sexy, even with his “the South will rise again” accent.

Too bad life isn’t a mid-2000s rom com set in the East Village.

Anyway, yesterday wasn’t too bad. I went to Yoga and had a mediocre class – well, it started out that way. I can feel my body changing slowly on day 9. I’m bloated because I’m a woman, but my stretches are deepening and I feel like I’m able to understand my limbs a little better these days. It’s safe to say that I’m becoming reacquainted with my muscles.

Actually, yesterday’s class was pretty good! Vinyasa Flow is definitely something I’ve been getting used to, and I know it’ll feel even better next Monday.

After class, I broke a cardinal rule and treated myself to a bottle of rose hip oil from the studio’s store. I know, I know – I should only be buying myself a yoga store treat at the end of each week and I’m only at the beginning, but my face has been pining for some extra love and that bottle was their last one! It wasn’t a huge investment though, so I figured this once won’t hurt. I may or may not have my eye on a lavender stuffed eye pillow made specifically for shavasana and afternoon naps, though. Let’s just see if I get to day 14 first – only 4 days to go!

In other news, I am officially 3 days into Whole30 and I am still compliant! I’ve broken the limited snacking rule (currently munching on carrots as we speak) and I’ve obviously been cheating with nuts since last night’s indulgent snack of a banana, two tangerines, and about a half cup of almonds. And some pumpkin seeds.

What? I’m a hungry person!

The important thing is, I’m still here. I did have a dream that I forgot I was on Whole30 and had a drink with this cute guy I’ve been low-key crushing on for a couple of months. All sorts of naughty metaphors in that one. Boy, do I need work!

Today’s Breakfast: Dedicated to lazy champions, I didn’t even have a real breakfast. I’ve just been grazing throughout the day. Two hard boiled yolkless eggs (the yolk just creeps me out.) a banana, a tang(erine, not the nuclear orange childhood drink), probably a handful of almonds, and three cigarettes.

Yes, I’m still smoking and no one is allowed to yell at me for doing it. This is MY blog.

Lunch Will Be: Some leftover taco salad revamped with fresh(ish) avocado and steak strips. Yesterday, I fooled myself into thinking I was too delicate to eat the big salad I had curated for myself, so I portioned it out into two small containers and kept them in the office fridge. Bless her heart, my housekeeper gave me a mini garden of lettuce to top it off with today.

Dinner: A homemade repeat of yesterday – Salmon! To veg or not to veg? I was going to accompany it with broccoli that I really should use. Questionable broccoli has been frozen for about a week and a half (I know, I know. But I just didn’t want to waste it!) Maybe I’ll sneak in a tiny baked potato on the side. I swear, Whole30 allowing potatoes is probably the best thing about this damn diet – I mean, “Lifestyle changing clean way of eating” (or whatever the eff you wanna call it.)

PS: In case you care about yesterday’s dinner? It was delicious but difficult. I think it’s safe to say I can’t go back to said amazing restaurant (Let’s just call it AVA for anonymity’s sake) till I’m done with this. And then, it will be chickpea fries, kale tabbouleh, Gruyere Burger and Date Knafa Tart galore. One thing I’ve learned? It’s time to encrust all salmon with herbs. Another thing? VEGAN PESTO ZOODLES. Something I will definitely be recreating for tomorrow’s menu: Vegan Vednesday.

Yoga: Day 10. Bring it on, baby. I’m doing a back-bending flow today, which should open up my heart and possibly lead me to tears. I cried last Saturday during shavasana, having just been dumped only the night before. It was a quiet cry, but it felt nice. There’s something about Yoga that just makes you feel so appreciative and unafraid of your emotions and your body’s needs. You can literally moan and grunt all you want, fart, cry, and sleep. It’s like being a baby.

I haven’t farted in Yoga yet, (and will try my hardest not to) but I’ll bet lots of people have. I’m sure there are some tent pitchers out there as well. Hell if I had a tent, I’d pitch it feeling that relaxed.

Men: Whatever. I haven’t texted him yet. Am I texting someone else? No, YOU ARE.

All with a grain of pink Himalayan salt, friends.

Namaste.

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